Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
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did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
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Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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