How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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