I accidentally had phone sex last night
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
