i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
