I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Randomize
