I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
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If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
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Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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