WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
