we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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