you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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