There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
it's great music for shaving your balls
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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