brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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