Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
