Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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