Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
