Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
