real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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