i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
