We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize