wakey wakey hands off snakey
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I can't turn off my feet"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
