Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
