her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...