I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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