I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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