6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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