Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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