Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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