Your tits are I can't wait for
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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