so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
