I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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