if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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