what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
