THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
