My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
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