Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.

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  (708): i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection. http://tfl.nu/ljiq
  Replies (13) Good night (3791) Bad night (789)
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  (310): View more from California

  I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.

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  (310): I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets. http://tfl.nu/76ec
  Replies (16) Good night (811) Bad night (2853)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.

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  (781): tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner. http://tfl.nu/1bdt
  Replies (20) Good night (838) Bad night (6478)
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  (415): View more from California

  Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in

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  (415): Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in http://tfl.nu/whuh
  Replies (14) Good night (4604) Bad night (2220)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out

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  (806): He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out http://tfl.nu/voyg
  Replies (4) Good night (2065) Bad night (900)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?

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  (781): One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach? http://tfl.nu/leuf
  Replies (7) Good night (4463) Bad night (762)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN

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  (301): Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN http://tfl.nu/2m0y
  Replies (17) Good night (2059) Bad night (777)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark

  (1-678): View more from Georgia

  ...

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  (678): Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark (1-678): ... http://tfl.nu/supo
  Replies (8) Good night (1510) Bad night (735)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.

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  (231): I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it. http://tfl.nu/oche
  Replies (8) Good night (1800) Bad night (896)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.

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  (308): I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards. http://tfl.nu/31cw
  Replies (8) Good night (963) Bad night (688)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.

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  (+44): You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality. http://tfl.nu/86pw
  Replies (4) Good night (968) Bad night (463)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern

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  (303): We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool (1-303): We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern http://tfl.nu/3irm
  Replies (8) Good night (811) Bad night (348)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual

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  (518): I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual http://tfl.nu/lllr
  Replies (1) Good night (530) Bad night (267)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.

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  (601): It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/yyx4
  Replies (4) Good night (603) Bad night (403)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine

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  (904): Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine http://tfl.nu/8y9j
  Replies (0) Good night (749) Bad night (370)

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