Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...