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• (757): View more from Virginia

  then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!

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• (310): View more from California

  Sorry I couldn't get my dick out

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  a search helicopter?!

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Fuck he won the bet

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  3 2 1 whiskey

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• (727): View more from Florida

  all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.

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