I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
