so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
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i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
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When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body