Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.