My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
