i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
