im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
