Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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