last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
