I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize