Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
