Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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