my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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