I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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