i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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