i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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