He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
