After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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