She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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