you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
