Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
