So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize