Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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