if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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