Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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