My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
