his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
