she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Randomize
