I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
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If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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