idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
