Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Blood and glitter go together right?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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