ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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