What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
