Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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