I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
