watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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