he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.