I feel great
I just peed on a car
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
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