I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
